An emotional couple of days

On Thursday we had a family meeting at the hospital with the Director of the Program of Physical Medicine & Rehabilitation, the Head Nurse, the Speech Pathologist, Physical Therapist and Occupational Therapist. It is their recommendation that my Mom will not be able to reside at home and that we seek long-term nursing home care. For her to be able to stay at home, she would need 24-hour, two-person assistance. There are a number of reasons for this physically which I won't mention here for dignity purposes, but also, some of it has been pointed out to us that it is the normal process of an elderly patient beginning to slowly let go. My Mom's Alzheimer's seems to have really taken control of her mind with this particular stroke. It is hard for me to even fathom that she was in Costa Rica with us four days before this massive stroke. While this, I feel, was a significant gift from God for my family, there is always the mindset of "had I known, I would have done things differently", like, I would have requested those two weeks off from work with my U.S. job to spend more time with her. It was a real shock for me to see over the past year that we have been living in Costa Rica, how much of the Mother that I am used too is gone from her cognition. Needless to say, when I arrived back in the States, and while I have been here in the hospital, it amazes me how one significant event like a stroke can also take so much away from a person. It has been a couple of days of processing "things" for me as our family begins the letting go process of the "way things were" to "how they will be". One thing I am thankful for are two long letters that I wrote before my family (Ken & I and the kids) moved to N.C. One was to my father and one to my mother recalling childhood and young adult memories, as well as intentionally thanking them for the impacts that they had on my life. I will never regret writing that to her when she was able to read it and comprehend all that I wanted to express to her. I have much to be thankful for in this life. God is a God of grace, of love and of care. I couldn't be more thankful or more indebited to Him for the role model of the mother that I have had. Please, pray for Mom. That in her confusion, she would have a sense of peace that God remains with her. And that when she is alert, that she would sense her family and our love surrounding her.

Some culture shock and helping.

I've been in Syracuse, NY now for one week supporting my family in the overseeing of my Mom's care in the hospital. Somedays go really well with her eating and others seem a little more slower and trying, but all in all, my Mom is progressing. On Monday, she will have another swallowing study while she is actually eating as they believe it is time to move her up to thinned liquids from pureed. She is still having physical, occupational and speech therapy daily which makes her really tired, but is also improving in that area, as well. Being home with family has been really nice, especially having time with my Dad. He remains in good spirits and encouraged. I enjoy being able to laugh with him! The biggest adjustment for me has been time zone changes and the fact that when I take a shower it feels like I am standing in a car wash OR being hosed down by a fire hose! The showers here are so small compared to our tile ones in Costa Rica where our family could shower together; and I have been dealing with a feeling of claustrophobia every morning. Of course, remembering that it is okay to flush the toilet tissue down the toilet instead of placing it in the bathroom trash can has been an adjustment too! Eating has been a little overwhelming with the amounts of food being offered to me. One thing that I had not planned for was speaking in churches. I have pictures with me on my laptop that are not organized or prepared for slide presentations. Today, I spoke with the women's group at Syracuse Alliance Church, my parents home church. Please pray that some more speaking engagements can be arranged as in recent weeks we have lost $450 in monthly support due to the US economy and our state of support is in a critical state. For now, the plan is for me to stay in Syracuse until April 5th. I will then return to NC to finish up wedding plans. Ken, Heather and Kyle should be arriving in the States on May 6th and we will hit the ground running with tux measurements and clothing adjustments for them! Thanks for your continued prayers for my family and especially my Mom! Edit: Just for the record, "No, our family doesn't shower together"...inquiring minds wanted to know!

An update on my Mom...I'm in the U.S.

I'm writing this from N.C. I have returned home to the States when it didn't look like my Mom was making any kind of improvement. I had planned on returning to the States in mid-April to help Danielle and Brad finish up their wedding plans. Today, my Mom was supposed to have a feeding tube placed since her physician informed us that she probably would not live long without one. She had initially failed the swallowing test. My older sister, Wendy and my Dad had been swabbing her mouth on Sunday and noticed that she was making an attempt to swallow. They informed my mother's physician and he had her re-evaluated. Today, my mother has been upgraded to a pureed diet and the feeding tube procedure was cancelled. I honestly believe this is because of the prayers of so many people on her behalf! The nursing staff has requested that a family member be with her as much as possible, and so my Dad and brothers and sisters are taking turns feeding her and being with her. Them talking to her has helped her to improve to some degree. In physical therapy, she walked favoring one leg, but at least she walked! I haven't been able to make any plans to go to Syracuse, NY where my Mom is because my NC driver's license has expired while we have been serving in Costa Rica. Today, with Danielle as my chauffer (that's kind of humbling, having your kids drive you around) I renewed my license. I've been getting regular updates from my sister, Wendy, on my Mom's condition. I told her today that when my sister-in-law, Renee, was sick with leukemia we all kind of took turns waiting in the wings as each sibling took turns caring for her. That's the main reason I came home, to serve my family. I am waiting for her to let me know when I can come up and be a help to all of them by taking my turn. The waiting is hard, but I want to go at a time that will be a blessing to those who need rest. Please continue to pray for Dad and my sisters and brothers as they make decisions for my Mom and her continued care. Most of all, on behalf of my entire family, thank you SO MUCH to all of you who have prayed already and Thank You, Lord, for answering.

My Mother

This picture is of my sweet mother, Ginny. It was taken in the last two weeks while she was here in Costa Rica with my Dad, my older sister, Wendy & her husband, Gary; and a special short-term team of Central New Yorkers. Yesterday, my mother had another stroke, though worse than the one she had over a year ago that triggered Alzheimer's disease in her brain. She is now in the Intensive Care Unit in a hospital at home in Syracuse, NY. Right now, her physicians are not sure of the permanent effects that this new stroke will have on her body since they cannot seem to get her to wake up. That does not mean that she is in a coma. My sister said, "she is snoring"! She is sleeping very well which is typical, they say, after having a stroke of this magnitude. The physicians and nurses cannot get my mother to stay awake to run more tests on her, though preliminary tests, the results of which we do not know yet, have been done. Today, please keep my mother and my family in your prayers!